i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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