So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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