We're facebook friends in real life
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
