dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
