is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
