i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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