Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
