you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
