ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
