yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize
