If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
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