What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
