So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
My dick has a subreddit
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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