Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
