Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize
