69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
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