I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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