just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
