she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
