I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Randomize
