Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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