So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize
