What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
