It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
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I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
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And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.