You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..