i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too