Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Randomize
