He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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