you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
