I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
