Have you finally orgasmed yet?
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
talking dirty on facebook chat is the new phone sex.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
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