the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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