I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
