At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Randomize
