is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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