Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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