Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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