Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
Randomize
