yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
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