How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize