69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
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