I feel like abortions should bother me more
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
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Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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