He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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