i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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