Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
