just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
