He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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