i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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