i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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