5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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