K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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