doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
my vag is so smooth its legendary
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
