6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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