im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
no, he came in my armpit
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Randomize
